FRACK and Wine



What is the worst kind of blog? It's the mommy blog. If you read this for biking content, hold on a minute because I will get there soon.

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What's a mommy blog? It is a place where moms vent about how much they hate their kids and wish they were secretly on a deserted island drinking a whole case of red wine. Hey, don't get me wrong but really? These are women who are ungrateful for their working partner and can't stand summer vacation, winter vacation, and anything with a "vacation" in it because it will mean that they will have to devote some major time interacting with their kid/kids.


So what, I have ONE kid and don't understand. You don't know what kids I had to parent before I had one of my own. During our breaks somehow I end up with tons of kids at my house. Not because my friends hate their kids but because we are going to have so much fun together rolling around outside or just a nice quiet moment taking turns sitting on the compost pile. I am sorry, my friends like their kids. They really do. One even has TEN and she loves them all. I have to admit, because both parents love them so much they are good kids.

Yeah, I have met some of those kids with the wino mommies and some of them are scary and crazy. They lack attention and direction. It's sad but somehow giving them  drugs is the solution for them.

Now I am going to ask you to do something hard. Vote for me! I know, you already voted for the blog with the chicken but HELLO I love my kid and would never chug down a case of wine because I hate her. Last week when I was mad it had nothing to do with my kid.

Let's sock it to those other blogs where the blah poo is about kids and let a bike blog win on that site. It would be a total "fluffer nut"in your face mommy blogs. That would be hilarious  I don't offer parenting advice. I bike with a kid and she is normal. She is nice, kind and respectful and that is just called parenting. It is different for everyone but you have to do it if you produce them.

One bit of advice. Instead of drowning your sorrows in wine, go out and chuck the compost pile around, chase after a chicken or even ride a bike to get all that tension out because their is nothing worse than complaining about your kids in public. Better, make those cuddle bunnies work! It can get so creative.  FRACK! (I love Battlestar Galactica)

Comments

  1. I agree. A compost pile is an excellent place to take out built up aggression! There are all kind of jokes in that idea, but I'll skip them all.
    It's a real bummer (yes, we can thank California for that word) that somehow we as a society have sunk so low that complaining and embarrassing the people that love us most, is trendy, spicy, and sophisticated. Sometimes being the uncool kid pays off.
    Great post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. California is to blame for EVERYTHING!! Those happy people get so much sun! Although "Insane Mom on the Brain" has a really good reason to win:

      If I win this contest, the prize is a virtual badge saying I won. I will pawn that virtual badge at the virtual pawn shop & buy virtual drugs & (edited word) with the virtual money, and YOU will be a virtual enabler. THAT will rest on your virtual conscience.

      Notice how may of the mommy bloogers are holding wine, hummm, suspicious.

      Delete
    2. No me explico porque hay tanta madre quejona en el mundo. cuando las hijas salian de vacacones de la escuela era el dia mas feliz del verano. Nuestro primer viaje era ir a la biblioteca, sacar todos los libros que se permitia tener por el tiempo indicado. No se diga sacar juguetes de la bliblioteca del condado de Monterey. Me encantaba ver lo creativas que eran con cajas de carton con las que construian casitas, carros, tvs. y hasta teatros. Ir a la playa con abrigos y mucha comida, disfrutar de todos los eventos gratis y si me organizaba bien, viajar por la costa de CA. Those where our most beautiful vacations.

      Delete

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