I know, it's Tuesday but Madmax Tuesday doesn't sound so great.
Okay so I am not mad any more but last week stuff kept building that by Friday I was a bag of explosives I was about to turn green from the inside out and become the Incredible Hulk. I could already see that green person bursting through and throwing everything in sight.
By the time I hit the end of the day Friday I ended up driving a Zipcar metal machine. I was pissed off about not being able to enjoy a nice bike ride to pick up my kid. See me driving and taking a picture. Ugh, then then I ended up behind a speed demon with a dumb bumper sticker. Apparently they had the "out of my way" attitude just to skip three whole cars ahead. I am sure they shaved 5 seconds off their travel time. I am a safe driver. We live in Seattle with zero traffic. What you think is traffic here is nothing. I find driving downtown very provincial. Sorry, but I had a lot of experience driving in San Fran. in my youth and there you have to be speedy or else you won't be able to merge into another lane. When cars like this nut with the sticker think that they HAVE to get three cars ahead just to save time you want to take your u-lock and give their car a good swing. See, how mad I was.
I had a list of things that usually don' t bother me but by Friday I was not happy:
1. Why does it take me 30 minutes less to bike than the bus? See the slow bus.
3. What is with the clocks at the school? We are not allow to pass the 1st dragon gate until it is 8AM on her clock, but my cell phone says 8:06AM. By the time my kid gets up to her class pass the second dragon gate it is 8:11AM. This gives my slow poke kid FOUR whole minutes to organize herself. Why am I not allow to go in pass the first dragon gate if I will stand with my kid until the teacher arrives?
4. Why do little kids insists on ringing the bell on my bike? Although the kickstand is heavy duty and you could climb up there without fear of it falling I am PARANOID it will fall on a small child because the stupid parents thought it was cute to ring it. Do you see me climbing in YOUR car honking your horn?
5. The final straw!!
I tried to bike home from taking my kid to school I somehow ended up downtown on that idiotic painted bike lane on 2nd Ave. In my head I rationalized that if one car come close to me and almost kills me I was going to play bike polo with their window. After years of having to balance loads of flour, a huge box, frozen chicken, a kid you realize you have much more power. So, I have gotten really good have having a large load, skidding on gravel, getting a snack for my kid and still ride my bike. I had my bike lock ready to smash the lights out of any metal machine. I was MAD!!!
The worst part as I rode this death trap was that if I chose to walk the sidewalk I would be harassed by the countless gross people on the sidewalk. Cat calls galore. Really, you have time to make a cat call when you have oozy stuff coming out of your mouth? Yuck! Another guy was expelling his morning urine on the road like it was nothing. I was thinking, "this city is so backwards". Who makes these friendly bike paths because it is not a regular person. It is not a mom or a dad biking with kids. It's either someone in a car or some spandexy single person who hasn't come to the realization that their death might mean something to other people.
I came home, kicked the recycle can a couple of times (Yeah, I was mad at that too because I forgot to put it out), called out to G-d and said, "WHY?!!!". I was crazed. I don't think anyone saw me except a chicken. I spend the morning doing some mean hisbodidus asking G-d to make next week better. Now we are on Tuesday and I have calmed down from the four things I managed to write here. If I wrote the rest of the drama I might get an ulcer.