All that Methane I make when I bike

Twitter goes by so fast but something caught my eye. Apparently some douche politician Ed Orcutt claimed that bicycling is not good for the environment but then he recanted but in no way apologized. Bikes are to blame for everything. We don't pay enough tax, we use the road for free and don't freaking PAY. Contrary to bike haters very few of us live 100% without a car. Our family doesn't own one but when you borrow a Zipcar or a Car2Go you end up paying taxes. The Zipcar bill has an added car rental tax. Nothing is free at the store either but somehow I am meant to pay just because I toot a little gas when I ride my bike. What's worse? Tooting the gas in a car and letting that fart air go stale or allowing the fermented gas to fill nature? You could also toot for evil, like in Walter the Farting Dog. If you haven't read these books it has the episode where a clown/bank robber gets a hold of Walter and uses his fart for a robbery heist. Classic fart torture.

Either way, we are being punished. We at our homestead engage in a lot if fart humor. I am guessing that we feel really good about ourselves.

Sometimes I take to Twitter to spew my fart humor, mostly ignored. One day someone found me amusing and re-tweeted a Tweet I made in regard to what eBook I bought to read in the potty. Right now my body is fighting against daylight saving so everything I do is one house behind, yes that too.

If you are still having tummy pains by the end of this post go eat some oats for crying out loud! Alton Brown will tell you all about how it gets you moving. Eat it! Eat it! Eat it! Okay, now that we get closer to the Jewish Festival of freedom of processed foods I will be working on making my house spankan clean, like it's nobodies business.


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