Thursday, April 24, 2014

Hospital Stays can be Interesting


Having a baby Erev Pesach was really interesting. I really tried keeping this baby in me as long as possible. I cut back on biking, took it easy and in many instances asked for help. I don't like to ask people for help but I did because I wanted to make it through Pesach with a baby in my stomach. You know, we don't always get what we want. With the new car tab and tax vote not going through we might have an epidemic of other ladies actually giving birth on the bus. The imagery is so haunting. Metro's new saying will be, we might get you there.

While in the hospital/birthing center/whatever you want to call it I learned a lot about myself and what not to do there:

1. I have the blood pressure of a marathon runner. At some point the anesthesiologist came in my room and told the nurses to not lower my bed for the first 12 hours or else my blood pressure will dip too low. I wonder if all us cargo folk have that kind of blood pressure because we bike at a steady rather than fast pace?

2. I am tolerant to pain. I had a spinal block which was a very interesting experience. Once that wore off I was fed an IV of liquid tylenol, very interesting, When that was done I was given Ibuprofen every 6 hours with the option of percocet. What is that narcotic? It is narcotic of oxycodone and acetaminophen. I took it with the last c-section so I half expected my pain level to be the same. So, I waited for the pain. Day 1 went by and I didn't need anything but ibuprofen. Day 2, same. By the night of day 2 it was almost like the nurses were thinking I was being stoic and not wanting to be on a stronger pain medicine. I felt good. By Day 3 I took a shower, standing up and was able to lift my foot off the ground to wash under. For someone who had surgery and had my insides shoved around that was pretty good. Every nurse winced when they offered me percocet and I refused. Nobody believed me that I didn't need it. If I was in pain I would have taken it. The side effects are horrible and you feel stoned but if you have that much pain it is better to manage that pain, I know that. I felt like the nurses at Swedish were a bit pushy with the narcotic taking. Sometimes I wondered if they wanted me all groggy so they could control me better. I have a WHOLE blog post dedicated to the nightmare nurse who made my last day there hell.

3. I am pretty good at getting along by myself, even the hospital. I managed to deal with issues but only because I was in a clear state of mind. It was almost mind blowing boring to be at Swedish on Yom Tov with nothing to do, so I davened (prayed). I stared out the window a lot.

4. I learned to sleep with the lights on. As much as I tried to explain Yom Tov to everyone, lights were left on and I was even at one point trapped in my bed by the lactation consultant, which leaves me with my funny story of how many people touched my boobs:

1st Happy Nursing Face

Side Story: Keep your hands off my milk machines!
It has been a while since I have nursed a baby but Baby Peyos was pretty good about trying to nurse and latch as soon as he came out. I even have his happy face after we had a successful run. Now the odd thing is that before I knew it, if a nurse was in a room suddenly I would have another hand on my boob trying to fix it. OY! This happened a lot. At some point I was asked if I should have the lactation consultant come help me. Little did I know this would happen.

Lactation Consultant: At around 8:30PM a short gray haired menopausal woman entered my room and explained who she was and if I was doing okay. I told her that I needed help with the right side. I found it difficult with the first kid also. We tried "football" hold and of course she had her hands all over my boobs. Then I gave up and the consultant rearranged furniture. She sat in every chair in the room, close to the bed and demonstrated over her clothes proper nipple pulling out and boob squooshing. It was weird and oddly entertaining. I hadn't done anything but pray at this point and G-d sends me my own reality TV show. I wish it wasn't Yom Tov because I would have TOTALLY taken a picture! Ahh, when she left I was trapped. She pulled every single piece of NON movable furniture up against the bed of a woman who had a c-section and I had no choice but to press the red button for a rescue. My nurse was busy helping a women with a really screaming baby so I did what my cargo legs can do, kick stuff! I kicked the chair over and was able to escape to the bathroom. By the time my 7pm-7am nurse came the drama was over and I gone to the bathroom.

Glow in the dark baby
Which leaves me with other boob touching. I finally escaped Swedish on the Thursday of the same week I had the baby. I was there from Mon-Thur, okay. My friend picked us up and did our get away. Our baby got jaundice and his bilirubin levels were up. Rather than force us back into the hospital a service came with a bed for him to sleep him if he wasn't nursing. He spent his Shalom Zachor Shabbos in this bed while the visiting men sang and dropped Pesach booze all over my floor, hahahaha. One of the chair got really sticky from arak. Mr. Peyos bought cake and cookies imported from L.A. that tasted just like chametz. He kept everything in the boxes so people would be reassured it wasn't.

Every day of his glow baby bed experience a nurse came and I was made to demonstrate my nursing and before I knew it someone's hand was on my boob squooshing it to express milk. Not even in Santa Cruz, CA where I had the first one did ANYONE touch me. Seattle people are so booby touchy feely. So, the nurse drama is over, my doctor checked me and said my incision looks good but I am banned from biking for another 5 weeks because I might give myself a hernia.

Otherwise, I can just stare at my bike and do funny things like put the car seat in it for fun! Don't worry, I ain't baby biking for a while!


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